Conversation Circle!

Today was testing day at the learning center.  This means that we had class for an hour and then testing for an hour during the rest of class time.

I had a small handful of new students who had just pretested in the last few days; it made no sense to test them again.

So… I told the teachers to send their students who were too new to test again to my office and that we’d talk.  It was a last-minute decision, one of those “eh, let’s try it!” kind of things.  And it turned out to be wonderful.

I started with one advanced student – the advanced teacher decided to test first thing.  This student is quite advanced with reading and listening, but has trouble finding the right words when she talks.  We chatted for a solid 15 minutes about her home country, comparing weather there to weather in Minnesota, the history and politics of the region, and it was great!  Then the beginning and intermediate classes started testing, and one student from each of those classes joined us in my office.

So we ended up with a conversation circle comprised of three women at three different levels of English proficiency and from three different countries.  The intermediate student shared about her life, marriage, divorce, etc.  We asked the beginning student questions about her family and her country.  As advanced students finished their tests, they came into my office and joined the conversation, listening to other students talk about their lives, and sharing their own stories.

When it was time to wrap up, I asked them if they liked talking together.  They said they did very much.  And I did too. 

Stress and Direct Service

Yesterday was kind of hectic.

I was out two evenings this week at a training I really needed, and even though my substitute coordinators were amazing (perhaps even magical?), I was having some trouble feeling like I 100% knew what was going on at my center.  Being out also meant that I wasn’t doing my normal job for two evenings, so I had a backlog of “stuff” to take care of.

So I was getting a little stressed about falling behind.  I was getting worried about needing more subs this coming week and the next.  Our curriculum work has just started and I’m not sure how that’s going to fit in to the rest of my typical week.  And I really need to be doing some student outreach, which involves being out of the office and out in the community.  It just feels like I’m running out of hours when so much needs to be happening.

The thing about direct service is that each evening people come pouring into my learning center, reminding me why I bother to worry about what I’m worried about.  Unpaid teachers arrive early to plan the lessons they’ll be delivering on their own personal time.  My students come in, some after 12-hour work days, and work hard to learn more and more English.  And I see again and again that yes, everything I do is worth it.

It’s surprisingly calming to know that.

Tributary (photo by me)

On Giving and Sharing

In my previous post I talked a little about giving vs. sharing in the context of poverty and what to do about it. I’ve been thinking about it more since I wrote it, and I think there’s something to the idea.

It’s very grand and dramatic to be constantly giving all you’ve got. In many ways it’s what we’re “supposed” to do. I also hear frequent praise of people who never take but always give. The dirty little secret is that if all you do is give, you will run out of resources to give, be they material or emotional.

Sharing, photo by FuriousGeorge81 on Flickr

Giving is uni-directional. It comes with power politics, careful tallies,  assumed rights, and often times a very high horse. Giving has to be paired with taking.  So maybe the key is to not be focused on giving so much as on sharing.

Sharing flows in all directions. It doesn’t worry about tallying up everyone’s contributions. When it’s done openly and sensitively, it can just keep on going. At risk of using ambiguous jargon, it’s sustainable.

Thinking about life in general through the “sharing” lens feels really refreshing to me right now, so I’m planning to sit with the idea for a while.  Some of the questions I’m asking myself that maybe you’d like to ask yourself too:

• How would your relationships be different if you shared your time (or your ear, heart, wisdom, patience, etc.) instead of giving it?
• Would it change your relationship with your job, or your interactions with strangers?
  
• Would you be more inclined to share your money with organizations instead of giving it?
• How would it feel to receive if you were sharing and not giving?

Blog Action Day: Poverty

Blog Action Day seemed like as good a way as any to get back into blogging after my random, unexplained hiatus.

The idea is for everyone to discuss poverty to raise awareness and cause some action.

I’ve skimmed a couple of other posts in my RSS feed, and they were very “us” and “them.”  Given the resources you need to be involved with blogging and other interactive social media, I’d be very surprised if the majority of voices raised today were saying “we.”  Still, discussion and awareness are good things.  Let’s just be aware of whose voices we’re hearing and not hearing.

So here are my rhetorical questions:

• Are you living in poverty?  I’m not asking if you can afford that motor boat you’ve always wanted.  I’m asking about poverty.
• Do you know anybody living in poverty?  I’m not asking if you pass them on the street.  I’m asking if you know them.

My guess is that most (not all) answers to both of those questions are “no.”

I think there’s a divide.  I think it’s sad and dangerous.  I think a lot of people agree with me.  I’m not going to get into it here because it’s not my main point.

My main point is that the divide doesn’t have to be there.  Difference in resources doesn’t have to translate to parallel lives lived entirely separately.

• What are you doing to build relationships across the poverty line?
• What are you teaching your children about poverty, equality, and humanity?

Poverty in itself is unfair and tragic and theoretically avoidable.  We should end it.  But until that day comes, let’s not sit back and say “those people.” One post I skimmed suggested that you give something to someone who lives in poverty.  Yes, resources are important, but in my opinion, that’s the “those people” mentality talking.  How can you share instead of just giving?  How can you make a friend instead of just talking?  How can you cry with someone instead of just for them?

I guess what I’m saying is that money isn’t good enough.  Lip service isn’t good enough.  Education isn’t good enough.  Genuine pity isn’t good enough.  Intellectual outrage isn’t good enough.  Without the deep and widespread understanding that each person is a person, anti-poverty efforts will just skim the service.

It’s not something anything but your own experiences with people can teach you.  What are you going to do about it?