Bridesmaids and Best Practices

I’ve been extremely distracted with personal things for the past week plus, and one of those distractions was being a bridesmaid in a good friend’s wedding.

The Story

Several of us visited the site of the wedding a few weeks ago.  It’s a gorgeous outdoor site about 45 minutes from the Twin Cities.  We talked about the general plan for the audience and the general direction of the procession.  We talked about meeting in a different place and processing from an unexpected direction.  We had the rehearsal in the Twin Cities the day before the wedding.  We weren’t at the actual site because of the commute.  We talked about spacing and order and meeting times all of those good rehearsal things.

Bridesmaids, 1949 by JIGGS IMAGES on Flickr

The day of the wedding, we were dealing with unexpected and unexperienced things.  We were putting up a few decorations, enlisting the help of friends who had arrived early, and navigating effective communication with important people we didn’t really know, such as the parents of the bride and groom. There were nerves and deadlines and uncomfortable shoes – it was just totally different to be there than it was to plan it.

While in the thick of this reality, I completely lost any sense of those plans we had made weeks ago and even the day before.  I remembered most of them, but they somehow didn’t seem relevant anymore.  Everything around me was totally different than it was when we had made those plans, so my instinct was to improvise.

Looking back on that instinct is frustrating.  I knew exactly what I was supposed to do, but I felt compelled to go against it and start from scratch .  It’s kind of ridiculous.

The Point

The point of this is that I see parallels in nonprofits.  Most of us have a great idea of what the best practices are, from communication to filing to education.  We have a plan.  But then we come to deadlines or audits or budget cuts and there is a definite instinct to toss the plans out and start from scratch.

How can we not only share best practices, but do so in a way that acknowledges that they’ll feel way different in the midst of actual reality?

Has anyone else noticed this instinct?

Finger-Pointing

One of my adult students has been in the beginning ESL class for a long time.  He’s getting really frustrated that he’s still there.  The problem is that he’s not ready for intermediate.  I can tell from his tests, from talking to him, and from the fact that he had a little kid translate what I was saying to him.

"Point!" by a2gemma on Flickr

The thing is, he has it in his head that the only thing that will help him is to move to the intermediate class.  He seems to think that the problem is with the beginning level class.  I asked him what he needs more of, he said he didn’t know, and he wouldn’t talk about improving the class.  This makes me less inclined to accept his finger-pointing, though improving classes is always on my mind.  He has just decided that he’s going to move up into a harder class even though he can’t pass the easier one.

And since I won’t move him up a level, he has stopped coming to beginning classes, thus ensuring that he will not be ready for intermediate any time soon.  He is also about to lose his spot in the class because of poor attendance – I have a wait list full of students who want to attend class.

I’m just seeing some basically self-defeating behavior, and my questions are:

1. does he know it’s self-defeating?
2. would understanding that it’s self-defeating stop the behavior?
3. what could help him stop finger-pointing and start thinking about how he can achieve?
4. how can I redirect competent adults from willfully shooting themselves in the foot?
5. what cultural nuances am I missing that would help me understand the situation more fully?
6. how can the beginning class be improved?

Regarding this particular situation, we’ll work through it and it will be resolved.  It probably won’t resolve quickly, but that’s ok.

I also see a more universal situation though.  We all do the self-defeating thing to ourselves at some point by insisting on the wrong goals, stubbornly blaming things on external factors and accepting no responsibility, doggedly pursuing paths that aren’t working, expressing frustration by breaking or ignoring our tools for success, and basically doing exactly what I see this man doing.  How can we notice this behavior in ourselves, and what could we do to redirect ourselves back to being constructive?

Maybe if I figure that out about myself, it will help me work more effectively with frustrated students.

My Real Job

After about a week at my new job, I think I now see what my job really is.

On paper, I’m supposed to coordinate an adult basic education learning center.  Recruit and support our learners and volunteer teachers, make sure we have space, maintain paperwork.  No problem.

I realized yesterday that the real underlying nature of what I do in my day to day is much simpler: make sure everyone gets along.  Please note that I did not say it was easier, just simpler.

It made me wonder – do a lot of jobs boil down to just that?  Or perhaps most aspects of life in general?

Web 2.0 Wednesday – Personal Branding

(I decided to participate in Web 2.0 Wednesday this week.  Thanks to Michele at the Bamboo Project!)

My Blog’s Top 5 Words:

According to Wordle, my blog’s top 5 words are organization, new, think, program, and maybe.

Wordle of my blog

Seems about right to me.

I really appreciated the point that “personal branding” already exists for all of us, and that it can be as simple as looking at our top 5 words to begin to analyze what our personal brand is saying.  What a great stepping stone to addressing it more thoroughly!

Have you Wordled your blog yet?  What’s the state of your personal brand?  If you’re interested in personal branding, check out Chris Brogan’s free e-book.  I haven’t read it yet, mostly because I was intimidated by the phrase “personal branding,” but he’s a great resource.

And since when was intimdation a good enough reason to not do something worthwhile?

Need… tabbed… browsing…

First day on the new job!  It was awesome.  I’m getting all situated, getting to know my new on- and off-site coworkers, and figuring out what all is in my office.

The only thing I have to say that’s not glowing is about the security on my office computer.  I do not have the authority to change my toolbars or to download a new web browser.  Not having a quick-launch toolbar and being without tabbed browsing are already driving me nuts!

Secure, photo on Flickr by Wysz

I guess my rhetorical question is why we bother imposing this type of limitation on people’s computers.  How does it benefit anyone to have me on an outdated browser and unable to customize my desktop?  I feel like I’m back at airport security, taking off my shoes and separating my baggie of liquids and gels for closer inspection; I’m going through a security charade that makes no impact on anyone’s actual safety.

I’m hoping I can request a couple of work-arounds – everyone over at the library I’ve met so far has been amazing.

Also, I think the fact that my only complaints are so minor and specific is a great sign for how awesome it’s going to be to work there!